Mackin the Masseuse

Macking the Masseuse

One of the truly pleasurable aspects of visiting Thailand is the availability, low cost and variety of different types of massages. For the purposes of this report, we are talking about non-sexual massages found on nearly every street corner and shopping arcade in Thailand.

First of all, let's break down the most frequent types of massages that are offered;

1) Foot Massage- generally a 1 hour event (30 minutes per foot) costing somewhere in the neighborhood of $200 Baht (about $5.00). This is one of the most pleasant and relaxing experiences you can possibly imagine. The Thais (and much of SEA for that matter, handed down from the Chinese) believe that the feet (although low in stature), contain direct pressure points to most parts of the body. Everything from your sinuses, to major internal organs and even your sex glands. As such, they use a combination of massage, shiatsu kneading and acupressure to completely and thoroughly massage every part of your feet and legs imaginable. When completed, your entire body will feel great and you will be surprised at how great you feel overall. I'd hate to think it is my overactive imagination or my susceptibility to suggestion but I gotta tell ya, 3 billion people in SEA cannot all be wrong!
I have often thought that professional athletes would greatly benefit from this daily ritual to warm up their muscles before stretching and exercising as well as eliminating any soreness they may be experiencing.

2) Oil Massage-More like a traditional Swedish muscle massage with a little bit of Shiatsu kneading thrown in, the oil massage is a great way to have the rest of your body feel in tip top shape. The oil is a very light oil and the massage is done over progressive parts of your body (except sexual organs).
3) Thai Massage-This has often been referred to as being twisted like a pretzel. Yes, they are going to walk on your back, twist your legs, arms, bend and stretch you in every way imaginable. Many people enjoy this version of Thai massage immensely, especially athletes, people who practice Yoga, dancers and anybody who is used to using their body in their daily lives. Personally, I have never enjoyed it as much as other forms of Thai massage but still do it occasionally just for variance. I am not the most flexible person in the world and am generally somewhat sore for several days after having it done, so be forewarned and YMMV (your mileage may vary).

So, where is all this going in relation to the title? Well, like so many of us that are creatures of habit, I generally set in on one masseuse after checking out a few over the first few days. Kind of like each of us does when we go to the same barber, dry cleaners, gas station, grocery store etc. I find one I like and stick with her (and 99.9% are female).

On my trip in Dec. to Pattaya, I found mine on the second day. Not a beauty (and very few are), couple of extra pounds, not a great body to rave about, late 20's at best but the massage was off the charts. In these cases, you really don't care what they look like so long as they give you the kind of massage you like and make your whole body feel good when they are finished. Then, when you do find a hottie in a beer bar or Go Go to hang with, you will be in peak form with your body feelin great. You will have great "power" as they refer to it locally.

My M.O. is to have a 1 hour foot massage and 1 hour oil massage daily and try to be their first customer of the day when they are fresh and rested. So began my daily encounters with Kai. At first, there were the daily pleasantries, smiles, slight direction to focus on certain body parts that needed special attention and always a nice tip for a job well done. Before I knew it, I was buying her coffee at the end of the massage and attempting the slightest communication about her life in Thailand. Yeah, she has a kid living with her family, single mom kinda deal, lives with 4 other girls from the shop in a 1 Br. Apt., works from 9:00AM till 1:00AM 27 days per month, earns about 500 Baht per day from massages and maybe 300 Baht per day in tips. That is just over $20 per day for 16 hour days!

At first, Kai was always very professional and maintained decorum in performing her duties. I was equally well behaved and never tried anything that would encourage anything beyond a customer/provider relationship. After all, I was getting all I could handle from hottie beer bar and go go girls. Then one day, things took on a whole new dynamic.

One of Kais fellow employees that spoke a little English confided in me that Kai was attracted to me, thought I was a nice guy and that maybe I should ask her out sometime (she also told me Kai never dated customers and was the role model of the shop for the rest of the girls). Again, she was definitely not my type nor was I remotely attracted to her but I was a little flattered and decided it might be fun to see where this might lead so I told her friend I would like to take her to dinner sometime. (Now, remember, she speaks maybe 15 words of English and I speak about the same amount of Thai.).

The next day while she was giving me my daily foot massage, I noticed a measurable difference in the quality of the massage I was receiving and thought to myself this might be a good thing to play with for a while. She was definitely paying closer attention to spots that were sore, pressure points that would make me feel better and going over a few extra minutes on the clock. Also, during the oil massage that day, she got even closer to my groin area, brushing her fingertips along my balls and spent extra time on my sciatica (which I love). I got aroused and she was quick to notice but neither of us thought too much about it. After we finished, I gave her a hug (in addition to her tip) and she hugged back ever so slightly.

The following day, there was some serious eye contact happening during the foot massage with some sheepish grins on her part. "Oh what the hell", I thought to myself. I asked her out that night after work. I was to pick her up at 1:00AM which left lots of time to play the other venues before getting her after work. I was thinking a late night snack or possibly a drink or two. Was I in for a surprise!

When I arrived at 12:45AM, she and her fellow workers were finishing up for the night with their regular duties of cleaning and organizing the shop in preparation for the following day. At exactly 1:01AM she emerged in street clothes, took my arm in her arm and we said goodbye to her friends. I asked her if she wanted a drink or something to eat and she merely said, "shower". So, we went to my room and I showed her the shower, gave her a towel, fresh soap, shampoo, shower cap and excused myself. I literally was thinking she would shower after a long day at work and we would go somewhere. Again, I was trying to be a gentleman and maintain the decorum she had always displayed in the shop. When she emerged wrapped in a towel and crawled under the sheets, I realized she had other things in mind. I quickly showered and joined her in bed.

At first, it was just light little kisses or "sniffs" as the Thais do, some embracing and a little petting. Before long, it was deep passionate kisses coupled with soft moans and little whimpers out of her throat. This girl was on fire and had an obvious pent up horniness from months, possibly years of doing without, that it was all rushing out at once. When I finally put a finger between her legs, not only was she wet as hell, she literally jumped about 2 inches off the bed.

The next couple of hours was a fiery bout of multiple rounds of sex. I didn't hurry and I think it was driving her crazy. When we finally coupled, she had an immediate orgasm and several more before we finished. Within an hour, she was initiating round two and actually crawled on top of me and quite possibly raped me (kinda fun actually). At 5:30 the next morning, she was stirring and crawled under the covers and began kissing my nether regions till I was fully aroused then pulled me on top of her. She dashed out my door at 6:15 to go home and get ready for work. Never asked me for a dime, never said a word but gave me a huge hug and sniff as she exited my hotel room. She did ask if I would be there for my massage at 10:00 and I agreed.

I am sure there have been songs, stories, movies and possibly even psychological studies done on such women. Women who maintain a social and public strata of being the moralistic fiber of a community that become whores in the bedroom and release all their pent up desires to the lucky man who happens to breach the trust of their security net. It probably happens often with divorced women with kids at home, widows who have a standing in the community and others who do not want to appear too loose morally.

The next morning at the shop, I greeted her with a smile and she returned it but the rest was all business in front of her colleagues. When we went for the more private oil massage, I got a nice sniff, small peck on the lips and a whole lot of attention to most parts of my body. She even played a little with my member but not enough to get anything going. We hugged before we left the massage area and re-entered the main area of the shop as a regular customer provider situation. The rest of the girls were grinning and snickering but you could also tell they really didn't know the whole story and were merely assuming. This went on for several days until I asked her out again after work. Unfortunately, I got a little case of the runs and had to cancel. The next day I was leaving for an extended two month trip through SEA. I stopped by the shop before leaving, got a massage, gave her a hug, kiss and a nice tip and told her I would see her again in March when I returned.

I am sure she wrote it off to just another Falang (westerner) short time visit, promising to return and would never see me again. When I arrived at my hotel in the first week of March, I dropped my bags and went to the shop. I was more interested in getting a long overdue Thai foot massage but I guess a little part of me wanted to see her again. Don't ask me why but I liked the sex with this chick. It was more than the normal Short Time (ST) encounter of the beer bar and Go Go girls. I guess it was what most guys refer to as GFE (girl friend experience) sex. Again, she was not my normal type, not young, not pretty by any stretch of the imagination, did not have a great smoking body but she was incredible in the sack.

The look of surprise and the huge smile on her face when I entered the shop was priceless. The other girls just snickered and giggled. She hugged me ever so slightly and showed me to a chair for a foot massage, still all business in front of her peers. After the foot massage, we had coffee and talked (in our broken Thai/English) about meeting the next day. I offered to buy her a holiday (pay the shop a fee for her time off) and she quickly agreed. I went in the next morning and had a 2 hour oil massage in private with her after which we had a bite to eat and I proceeded to pay for her holiday ($800 Baht-about $20). We went back to my motel room, took a shower and again had off the charts sex followed by a long nap. She woke up at about 5:00PM and asked if she could go home for the rest of her holiday. I was happy to let her go so I could go play with cuter, younger, firmer chicks at a beer bar somewhere. I found a real hot 20 year old with a smoking body at a beer bar on Soi 8 but the sex was just average so I sent her packin after a couple of hours.

Next day, I started a regime of 1 hour foot massage and 1 hour oil massage usually followed by coffee, small bite to eat and a very generous tip. Two days later, she told me that Sunday was her day off. I suggested I buy her a holiday on Sat. so she could have 2 days in a row off (very unusual event for her). She quickly jumped at the offer. I arrived on Sat. had my massage and paid her holiday. As we left, I explained I was going to be busy and she could just go home and sleep, run errands or whatever she needed to do. I put her on a moto-taxi, hugged and "sniffed" her and watched the priceless reaction as she departed. I actually think she was overwhelmed at the generous gesture without any sex and beside herself with having two days off in a row.

I had her best friend give me my foot massage (only) on Sunday but returned on Monday to my regular daily routine with her. To say the intensity of the massages increased would be an understatement. That, plus the little overtures of patting a knee, paying close attention to muscles that needed a little extra attention, my rubbing a foot on her knee and eliciting a sultry grin, having coffee or a $2.00 lunch together just made the whole scene ripe with good chemistry. That extra free holiday was probably the best $20 I had ever spent. The whole shop knew about it and few could believe I had just put her on a scooter and sent her on her way home.

Next day, we made a date for me to pick her up after work. I was there at 12:45 again and she quickly finished her duties and left with me at exactly 1:01 again. The night was sexual bliss and we finally fell asleep at around 4:00AM. I was shocked when she awoke at 6:00AM, showered and left to get ready for work. I actually had 2 foot massages that day and a 1 hour oil massage and she was happy to go home to get a good nights sleep.

Now, don't anybody jump to the conclusion that I am falling in love with this chick. No way; and, I am enough of a realists to know it may be months or even years before I return to Pattaya but when you find a good thing, you tend to stick with it, especially if great sex is involved.

Today, she announced she wants to go with me to the airport in Bangkok to see me off back to the USA. We also talked about another holiday in two days. Why the delay? Well, I have dates lined up with a cutie from Tims Bar tonight and a Soi 6 hottie tomorrow. Gotta share the love (and the wealth).

Reminds me of a popular 1963 song by Jimmy Soul called, "If you Wanna be Happy". If I was searching for a wife and someone to take care of me as I grow older, she would be a pretty good candidate. Shit, she folded my towels and clothes everyday before she left, attended to sore muscles, made sure I was getting Thai prices wherever we went, never asked for a dime and "fucked my living brains out" when we screwed.

Oh well, back to the USA, then Brasil, then Panama, Then Costa Rica then Colombia (probably a Cali visit) then....who the fuck knows? Wherever it is, I will be reporting on the local scene with an occasional byline on personal experiences.

So, what is the inside of this report? You can fuck almost any girl in Pattaya Thailand and not just the beer bar and Go Go girls and waitresses. If I can get this stalwart, moralistic, massage shop girl in my bed then you studs can score almost anywhere you go here. I still proclaim, after mongering in 74 countries now, that Pattaya Thailand in the biggest "sex in your face" city, anywhere in the world. The whole city revolves around the sex business and the rest of the economy merely exists to serve their needs.

Even though I am a staunch Brasil pundit, someday, you just gotta visit this place to see it for yourself.

Side note: Made a quick stop by a little local bar today for a quick beer. Cute little waitress slides up next to me and before I know it, she is in the rack with me in my motel. She wants to go dancing on Friday night. I agree and immediately begin to wonder how I am going to add another one to the growing stable? She is cuter, younger and has a harder body than my masseuse girl and fucks almost as good. They have a local name for a guy like me. They call me a "butterfly" because I go from flower to flower without any regard for which flower provided the most pollen. A moniker I deserve because for me, there is always something better around the next corner and each new conquest is a new experience in carnal conquest.

So, I buy my masseuse a 2 day holiday for Sat. and Sun. so she can go the BKK with me and see me off at the airport. On Sat., she needed to go home to wash some clothes but returned to my hotel at 7:00PM. I asked if she would like to go to dinner but she was more interested in getting a foot massage from the lady that taught her how to massage. I surmise she just wants to show off her "Falang" prize so I agree. We enter a different shop and she is immediately surrounded by old friends and the "mama" that was her mentor. We are led to our chairs and we both get foot massages. My masseuse turns out to be the sister of Kais best friend in her shop. The massage is sub par but it really didn't matter. Kai was the beaming princess. We returned to our hotel and again had off the chart sex.

Next morning, we had breakfast and I packed for the trip to BKK. She had a little overnight bag with a few essentials and I was loaded with a full suitcase and all my camera/computer gear. Our taxi arrived and off we went to BKK.

She had called a friend in BKK and I thought we were going to get together for dinner but her friend had to work that night. My girl wasn't interested in going out so we ordered a little room service and made the best of our last few hours together. I had to get up at 4:00AM to catch a very early flight and she was right there with me without any hesitation or complaint.

We got to the BKK airport and I checked in with Singapore Airlines. She couldn't go past security so we went outside to say our goodbyes. I pulled out $2,000 Baht so she could get back to Pattaya and still have a little extra for some food or whatever she wanted. Then, she asked for taxi/bus fare? I told her this was for her taxi/bus. No, the 2K was for her 2 days with me was her response???

My sweet little "princess in public and whore in the bedroom" finally came out of her closet and turned our final farewell into a financial transaction. Was I surprised? Not in the least! Was I pissed? Not at all. She was takin care of business. I gave her another 2K, kissed/sniffed her cheek, gave her a hug and said goodbye. The only difference was my whole perspective on the relationship. She had been in it for the money all along but was not pro enough to soak it out of me. I'll bet she was full of angst wondering if I would give her anything and probably pleasantly surprised with the take she ended up with when I left.

There were no big crocodile tears or any promises made. Just a financial transaction and a fond farewell. I actually preferred the ending to this saga as I left with no false promises of a return or commitment to maintain contact, send money, honor birthdays or any other sucker deal. I smiled as I boarded the plane knowing we were both happy with the arrangement.

Sandman, like Bilbo Baggins of The Hobbit Trilogy, looking for the next adventure!

Sandman

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